Incoherent ramblings

"It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them...."

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 22:34:06 GMT

I am very very very tired
I am working far too much and all hours of the days and nights
I am getting a cold - slowly
I can feel my brain and my body turning into mush from lack of use
I have to wait 6 weeks for most of my wages
I still havent seen The Dark Knight

But...
I went to Disneyland Paris 2 weeks ago and it was so incredibly magical and awesome it was almost unreal!
I am going to see my best friend next week when she comes over from France! :D
I am going to a massive party Ultimate tournie this weekend and seeing all my uni friends! :D
One month til I start my MA!
2 weeks til I go to a 15thC conference!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.... :S

Wants to cry for 2 very different reasons...

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:13:57 GMT

This is very brief because I really should be asleep as I have to be at work in 7 hours...

The last 2 weeks have been absolute S**** I've been working obscene hours in mindnumbing jobs that are turning my mind to mush and my body appears to be following suite cos my bodyclock is so F***** up. I havent worked less than an 8 hour day since I got home and my usual days are 10hours plus working and all times of the day and night. I finished work at 9.15pm tonight and had to come home, eat , speak to Mum and pack. Tomorrow I am starting at 7am and finishing at 3am. But I am earning lots of money so should be in less debt for my MA... unless I've gone insane by then, which is looking likely atm!!

Although on the plusplusplus side I am off to Disneyland Paris for a long weekend on friday morning. It is for my friends 21st and it should be awesome - I am so so excited about it - I love Disney and we get to be big kids again!! :D So so happy!

But tomorrow will drag more cos of it me thinks... hope I've packed everything I need...meh... bed time... I get to meet Mickey Mouse again!! :D

- Oh and there was an awesome storm earlier with big thunder rolls and big forked lightening (although no rain...) t'was wicked driving home in it

Like a virgin... touched for the very first time...

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:43:39 GMT

I am going to my first ever festival this weekend, and going to see Pendulum there. I love Pendulum!

And its right on the beach just down the road from me - literally a 10min train journey :D

The Square Festival

Now, to get wellies or not to get wellies... that is the question.

How much does one trust the BBC weather forcast? What does 'light showers' on the saturday really mean?!

P.S. This song and this song are brilliant - LOVE them. You should go watch them and be enthralled

:D

Oooh

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:06:46 GMT

I have only just discovered that LJ has an email type messaging thingy.... And I've been on here for how long?! Haha

Geekish and proud

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 14:58:36 GMT

Really really really want to volunteer to be a part of this next summer. It looks amazing! :)

And... for the first time in about 2 years I updated/changed my userpics. Wow.

The finale of 3 years of my life...

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:18:22 GMT

Well am slightly unhappy. I got a 58 (2.2) for my dissertation, and I wish I'd have gotten more for it. But then I did pick a very hard topic and I did leave far to much to the last minute due to stress based reasons. At least I know what I need to work on for next year.

On the plus side - I ended up with an average of 60.6% (a 2.1... just!) I am so so unbelieveably happy right now!! I am so so pleased and relieved! I was having nightmares about this all week so it's such a relief! Having to graduate with a 2.2 when I have put so much of my life and myself into my degree and my uni life would have left me in floods of tears.

So BLOODY HAPPY!! :D
I got a 2.1 and I can get into my MA now!! :D

Now I just need to figure out my summer plans... I really really really dont want to go home, but I think I'm going to have to...

Love Ultimate

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:25:39 GMT

Well... I am much happier :) I have just had an amazing weekend and I am feeling incredibly sore due to over playing at Ultimate, but I am feeling very happy. Was so so nice to see so many of my friends again in one place and it was just what I needed to escape Everything for a weekend :D

I am still job hunting, I now have 2 part time jobs - but they are evening work that are giving me a total of 4 shifts a week between them because it's so dead in Aber now. Hopefully it will pick up as I cant pay rent at the mo it's that bad...
Had an interview that went well I think ,but we will see if I get it. the interviewer had a strange technique where she did most of the talking and over half of it was just a general chat. But it was nice and a good experience even if I dont get it. More vacancies have appeared that I am going to apply for today and tomorrow so I have mor options and am staying upbeat for themoment. I had such a horrible horrible few weeks where nothing went right, but I am so much happier after the weekend and I have several action plans in case things dont work out. So fingers crossed, and I hope that I will stay upbeat for long enough so I can sort all the problems out without almost having a break down again.

On that note... degree results on wednesday... am SO BLOODY SCARED!! :S
Not nervous, just scared... am mentally preparing myself, or trying to.

"This train terminates here - all change please..."

Thu, 29 May 2008 18:21:55 GMT

Well, the ball is now rolling in my new postgraduate life.

It's been a very tough few weeks what with one thing and another, but things are happening slowly. Things are beginning to make a bit more sense now, but they will be tough for a while longer I'm sure. I will write more whn I klnow fopr definite a few more things, I dont wanna risk cursing them just yet.

And it's nice moving on as it feels like I'm moving forward with my life. But it's quite scary and ever so sad.

Has been the best three years of my life. I have loved being here and living this life and there will always be a place in my heart for Aberystwyth. I keep trying to write a epitaph or something to sum up my feeling and all, but I cant find the words, or if I do then it's stupidly longwinded. Shall work on this.

Buuut:
Eurovision was absolute class this year! And one of my friends has donated us 700 plastic ball-pool balls. Is wicked! :D

"There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste"

Mon, 12 May 2008 12:00:01 GMT

It's a scary thought that my undergraduate degree will be completely over come 5pm tomorrow...
It's even scarier that I'm failing to concentrate on revision today.

Ah, wait, correction. It'll be over by lunchtime wednesday. I stil have a seminar report to write after this blimin' exam.

T'is till scaring me though. My life will change completely in a few weeks time and I dont like the thought. I cant quite get my head around it, and by quite I mean at all.

*sigh*

Ankle Update...

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:54:28 GMT

(for anyone who cares)

March 26th: Plaster Came Off! Told to keep it up to stop swelling and told to wait for physio.
Got new appointment with doc in 6 weeks.

April 1st: Was down to one crutch outside, and none in the house. First physio appointment. She was really impressed with the amount of movement I had, gave me exercises to strenghten it and told me I could start swimming and cycling.

Was off crutches completely four days later (I realised that I didnt need them and was just using them cos I was scared. So told myself to "man up" and got rid of them. Success!) Went swimming and cycling amost every other day. Started to feel like an ankle again, but it felt worse when I didnt get it moving.

April 17th: Second physio appointment. Gave crtuch back. She was please with movement again. Given exercises to get my balance receptors back, told I could start running wearing thick soled trainers.

(Which was good cos I had actually accidentally burst into a run the week before at Ultimate training... haha)
Realised I had as much movement with my bad ankle as I do with my good one. With the balance exercises it got strong really quickly and they became much easier. Still gets stiff first thing in the morning and still gets swollen, but that's understandable and the physio said it can take up to a year for the swelling to go down cos of gravity.

April 25th: Went to a weekend Ultimate tournament... and I was impressed with how well it survived. I played over half of every game**, it didnt hurt as much as I thought it would and the only things I was limited in were jumping and running at full speed very well (I was almost at full speed tho!). And today it feels fine, no worse than it usually does. So t'is good! :D

The only odd thing is that the skin round my ankle is completely numb, and if I prod it I get a wierd feeling in my little toe. And it's a proper frankenstien-esque scar!

May 1st: Third Physio appointment.
May 7th: Appointment with doc.

**3 games a day between 90 mins - 120 mins each.

"I dream of livin' in a lighthouse, it's the white one by the bay...

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:33:36 GMT

So if you want to make my dreams come true, you'll be a lighthouse keeper too! We could live in a lighthouse, it's the white one by the bay - eh hey, won't that be ok... Ya da dada da"

***********

"Painting Religion: A Case Study of English Medieval Wall Paintings in West Sussex"

Final draft of dissertation: 17678 words! Not including front sheet, bibliography, contents, picture list, and appendix (which is mostly pictures).

It was supposed to be 12000 words tho... whoops! But my friend spoke to his tutor who said that as long as everything you'd written wasnt waffle, was insightful analysis and was useful for your diss then the word count didnt really matter. So fingers crossed!

I'm relieved it's over, but I am really going to miss doing it. So I suppose it's a good job I have lots of work to do for the next few weeks then! My undergraduate degree is all over on the evening of the 13th of May. T'is a very scary thought... But as I've got a conditional offer for a MA in Medieval Studies here, it's not too scary a thought atm :) I just need a 2.1 and to sign a form saying how I will financially suport myself. I have incentives to work harder than ever in my remaining studies and over the summer now!

"I dream of livin' in a lighthouse baby, every single day"

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:25:53 GMT

Final draft of chapter 4 = 3944 words and 29 footnotes! :D

All I have to do now is...
Front Page
Contents Page
Images List
Complete Bibliography
(All very simple things, but damned tedious ones)

Introduction
Conclusion
Final Editing and footnotes
(Less tedious but harder)

And I have to get it bound tomorrow lunchtime at the latest. It all sounds lots, but it's loads of little things so it's all gravy :)

"I love livin' in a lighthouse, how 'bout you..."

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:07:15 GMT

Final draft of chapter 3 = 4035 words and 26 footnotes :S

Hmmmmm.....

"We'll take walks along the moonlit bay, maybe find a treasure or two..."

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:17:40 GMT

Final draft of chapter 2 = 3995 words and 21 footnotes :S
I still have editing to go on this but at least the writing has mostly finished for that chapter!

Still going to go waaaay over the word limit, and apparently there's not anything obvious I can cut out. Oh well!

I'm so tired though, and my eyes are going funny from staring at the screen...

"I wanna marry a lighthouse keeper, wont that be ok"

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Final draft of chapter 1 = 3336 words and 37 footnotes :S
I still have editing to go on this but at least the writing has mostly finished for that chapter!

Oh, and in the time since I last posted I have rearranged my structure - I now have 4 chapters (added a new chapter 1, so the previous 3 mentioned have all been shifted down a number)

The only problem is that I'm going to go waaaaay over the word limit. I just hope they dont mind too much! I've heard they dont... *crosses fingers*

Hmmmm

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:07:08 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7344381.stm ...Ever so slightly ironic.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7344279.stm ...And very funny, but sadly true.

...I'm going to see Jimmy Carr shortly!

"I'll polish his lamps by the light of day so ships at night can find their way..."

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:57:00 GMT

The first draft of chapter two of my dissertation is complete at 2720 words... :S

7441 done, 4559 to go... Then we start the mass editing.

The first draft of my historiography section of my introduction is complete also. (Albeit in paper form as I got fed up of staring at word documents)

Should really write up my bibliography and get it out the way now so I dont forget and then remember last minute and panic....

And my tutor helped me sort out and made me calmer over the silly amount of niggly worries I had. She is really pleased and excited about it, is looking forward to reading it, and said that due to what my diss is on I would be a good candidate for a masters. So fingers crossed for my applicantion eh! :)
My friends are having a competeition as to who can read the most sources for their dissertations. They're on 60. I dont have that luxury of that many sources. Sometimes I wish I'd picked an easier one - but then I also know that I wouldnt have been happy with it if I had.

And altho that's all really good things - it does also add just a teensey bit more pressure on. T'is bloody typical. Removing one lot of worry and replacing it with another!

Heh.

Bed now.

"I wanna marry a lighthouse keeper and live by the side of the sea..."

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:08:34 GMT

The first draft of chapter three of my dissertation is complete at 2098 words... :S

1 day and 1 chapter behind schedule :(

"I wanna marry a lighthouse keeper and keep him company..."

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 18:18:53 GMT

The first draft of chapter one of my dissertation is complete at 2623 words... :S

sigh

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:02:49 GMT

I decided that as I am doing a dissertation on medieval church wall paintings, I really should brush up on my biblical stories. I borrowed 'The New Jerusalem Bible' off my friend. The problem is that the gospel I really want to get hold of isnt actually in the Bible - it's called the Apocryphal gospels and is a fifth gospel that was popular in medieval times. I have searched on Amazon for it - but I dont particularly want to pay for it as I'm rather poor - and it appears to be something that is surrounded in controversey as a substantial amount of the books have 'secret' or 'notorious' in the title. It's just another version of the stories about Jesus and I dont understand why people have sensationalised it, also, it is interesting to note that a lot of these books were published in the USA or are being sold by peoiple in the USA.

***********

My Easter weekend was wonderful. I saw my Mum for the first time since January... although this made me realised that I am not going to see my Dad and my brother for about 6 months which saddened me muchly. While my Mummy was up we basically did nothing all weekend and it was amazing, so relaxing and I didnt have to think or do anything urgently for once and it was just lovely to see her again. I do miss my family even though I love uni. I got re-taught how to knit at easter too, which is cool cos I'm knitting a fluffy lilac pashmina thingy for my prom-dress, it's also a strnagely relaxing and therapeutic exercise so I like muchly. One of my best male friends came up for the weekend too and we discovered lego star wars on the gamecube. T'is great! It's designed for children so it means I can actually play it! I also now have so much chocolate that its ridiculous, but good :) I will nibble whislt doing all my crazy amounts of work.

*********

I came out of plaster two days ago. I have a crazy huge frankenstien type scar on my ankle now and it does look quite awesome. My ankle is much more sore now and walking takes even longer though :( Damned half way mark feels like I've gone backwards. There's nothing protecting it now sp I have to be really careful how I move on it or put weight on it else it hurts stupidly muchly. And I'm more worried about going out with it, but at least I'm a lot closer to being able to play sport than I was!

*******

Also - two adverts that I like (which is bizarre as usually I hate all adverts...) and think you should check out are the new M&S one with Erika Eigen's "I wanna marry a lighthouse keeper" song. The song just makes the advert cool. And a summer Cadbury's one with a Gorilla playing the drums to Phil Colins's "In the air tonight". The combination of the Gorilla and Phil Colins makes it awesome.

******

Off to finish my paragraph of my diss and then go watch Rome. I Love the Rome series. (I also have a slight crush on Brutus...) You must watch it. It is a great piece of artwork. It is amazing and leaves me going "Wow..." after each episode.

Writer's Block: All in the Family

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:44:46 GMT

How do you think having siblings (or not having siblings) affects who you are as a person?

View other answers

It's a very poignant question to contemplate... The honest answer is that I dont know. I dont truely know how I've been affected by having a brother becasue I have no way of knowing what I'd have been like without one.
If you have good close friends then often they can be better siblings than your actual ones. But you can also reverse that and say that you wouldnt have the social skills you have that meant you acquired such good friends if it wasnt for a stable family enviroment and your sibling(s).

Hmmmm... :S

On another random note - do you ever feel like you're just puppets or actors in a play? Whenever it gets to the hour past the witching hour things I've been thinking about seem oh so surreal...

Hmmmm

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 23:16:41 GMT

Whenever things seem to be going really really well there's always something that appears to put a dampener on them... I'd rather it be dampened from the beginning tbh *sigh*

However, I also now have a royal purple cast with a white diagonal stripe that glows in the dark! :)

EDIT 1: I made apple pie! T'is yummy! :)

EDIT 2: My ankle really hurts the last couple of days :( I think I'm trying to do too much on it, but I dont know how to stop myself...

I have a green leg...

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:39:06 GMT

Well since I last updated quite a few things have happened...

~I have started writing my dissertation and am quite excited about it (Yes, I am a geek and I do embrace this fact)
~We won a rugby match against Swansea and I scored the only tries. Now we're through to the BUSA cup knockout playoffs - yay!!
~I spent 2 days in hospital as a consequence of this game.

I have spectacularly broken my ankle! Yay.

It has 2 breaks in it, sprained ligaments and had to be operated with a metal plate put in it. Limited mobility for 3 months and I'm out of sport for anything between 4 months and 12 months. I am also on lots of strong drugs and it is still very very painful - but I'm used to it now.
It is incredibly frustrating not being able to do anything easily! Simple things like getting up, going to the toilet, tidying my room, making tea, cooking, washing up, doing laundry are all really difficult now. I am getting by as best I can, but it is such a challenge. And every tiny thing I do leaves me so so tired that it's rubbish.
I've had to rearrange almost all my activities for the next 2 months to accomodate for this cast. I cant play in 4 tournaments (inc one overseas) and at least 3 rugby matches. I cant dance or socialise easily, I will struggle around the library and therefore with doing research for my course. I had to cancel my passplus and I now cant drive for months when I've only just got my license. It is hard even to leave the house as we live on a stupidly steep hill, and I think worse of all is that I now cant go home at easter.
I was having to get the train home because my parent are away for half of my easter hols (doing a driving tour around west coast America, lucky sods!), but I cannot possibly get on a train, and change 3 times, with crutches and a bag of stuff. But my folks said that they would come and see me for a weekend before they go - so I will at least get to see them, but I wont get to see my brother... :(

*sigh*
Bloody sods law.
On the plus side I will save lots of money! And all of my friends have been so so kind to me, and are helping me out loads and loads. I feel really guilty but there's not a lot I can do... I am getting lots of cake though! :)

Also I got to see my friend again - the one who I watched heroes with. It was lovely :) We really get on well and it was nice to just be hugged again. I am being practical however, and I know that even though I like him muchly that it is almost impossible that anything could ever happen due to how far away he lives. So I'm just enjoying the time we spend together and not thinking too much about anything. I have a really good time with him and he does leave me all smiley :)

Right - now for the trek to the bathroom!!
2 legged person ETA: 30 secs max, Broked ankle/crutches ETA: nearer 5 mins max :S

Seriously tempted to go to the pub in my Pjamas...

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 23:10:43 GMT

I am so so comfy right now - sitting in my pjs and dressing gown relaxing on my bed and reading a book is so so nice, and so underrated! :) Although half my friends seem to be out, and keep texting me. I dont mind, but I'm so happy just sitting that I cant be arsed to get dressed. Even though it would be fun I am far too poor.

Got lots of horrible organising stuff to do though, but really cant be bothered now. I'll do it tomorrow! However, I have been saying that for a while now with certain things... But I really cant put these things off any longer.

Have been CV touting today to try and get a job. Some of them looked very opportune and some didnt. Should be able to get a pub job through my friend, but I'd rather work in a shop I think. I'm fed up of shitty jobs for shitty wages, but I know that as a student it's what I have to put up with *sigh*

On sunday I am going to watch the Womens 6 nations match of Scotland vs Wales just outside Cardiff. Am quite excited. It's dead cheap ticket prices as obviously no one wants to watch women play rugby. And it should be a really good day, good experience too! :)

I also have a spectacular multicoloured black eye! Am quite proud of my sports battle scar ;)

"Under the da sea, under the sea, darlin' it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me!"

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:22:37 GMT

I am so excited!! I get to dress as the little mermaid tonight :D
We're having a Disney social and I have been looking forward to this for aaages! I will post photo's later, cos from what I've heard everyones costumes sound awesome :D
(It also gives me an excuse to die my hair cos its looking really naff now... I blame all the bad weather.)

Monday night being fed up with Dissertation work I trundled up the hill to my firends house to watch some films. They started at about 9pm, I got there about 11pm. They were watching heroes... People slowly dropped out and at about it was just me and a friend, we finished watching series 1 at 12.30pm the following day! I watched sepisodes 9-23, I think my friend started on epidoe 7, as we had watched the other episodes before. Over 14 hours of Heroes! It was amazing too! Some epidoes were a bit shit, but some were really really good and we just werent tired. Byt the end we were just too hooked to not keep watching. Awesome! :D Then I went to a lecture all lightheaded and sleepless, it was a dull one too. Apparently we're going to do the same thing for series two when he comes back to Aber... :D
On another bonus; I got to know my friend with much better. You'd expect it really staying up all night with someone! He's a friend of my friend and I've know him for ages, but more as an acquantance, so it was lovely to chat to him more (and soberly). And it was really nice to sit/lay there and watch films whilst being hugged, its something that hasnt happened in far too long and it put a big smile on my face :) It helps that I am attracted to him - but I know there'll never be anything as he lives a 3 hour drive away!

Been a really awesome weekend too! I had a night out friday and got far too drunk but hey! Then sat we had a 'neon rave party'. There were glow sticks and flashing lights and loud bass music and glow in the dark face paint and it was epic!! :D I got some fab photos too.

I love uni life! It's so random but so much fun! :D I am gonna cry my heart out when I have to leave though...

P.S: My course is going well too - my disertation has a really good path I'm following and my plan is going well. Should be able to start my first chapter this coming week :)